July 2016

Context-free Friday: ain’t no party like a pity party because a pity party has sundaes. And mani pedis.

M. J. Magee - Friday, the 29th of July, 2016
'I've been looking but I can't see anything,' Cuthbert grumbled. 'Let's call it a day and treat ourselves to a pity party sundae.'

The other man didn't squeal, like Cuthbert had expected him to. In fact, he didn't react at all. He just stared. 'I need that lamp,' he intoned. His voice was low and gravelly, and he spoke slowly as if he was talking to a small, young, particularly stupid child. 'Fetch - me - that - lamp.'

'We could get maaani peeedis,' Cuthbert called in a singsong voice.

The other man didn't gush. Not even a little.
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Context-free Friday: dance to entrance…

M. J. Magee - Friday, the 22nd of July, 2016
'Do you do anything in a kitten heel?' Cuthbert asked, struggling to picture how fashionable cement shoes would really be. 'She needs to dance to entrance.'

The Fairy Godmother cocked an eyebrow. 'Now that is a euphemism I've never heard. What'd she do to warrant a whole new expression, rub some other guy's lamp?'

She held up a hand to stop his loud, stammering protests.

'Don't tell me, kid. I don't wanna know. No knowledge, no motive.'
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Thimbleweed Park: an extremely jammy playtest

M. J. Magee - Monday, the 18th of July, 2016

I’d like to write something about game development this week. Not my game’s development – why would I do that? – another game entirely: Thimbleweed Park.

For those of you who don’t know (hi Mum), Thimbleweed Park is a new game by the creative geniuses behind LucasArts’ Monkey Island and Maniac Mansion; for those of you who also don’t know what LucasArts’ Monkey Island and Maniac Mansion are… just… they’re good games, okay?…

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Context-free Friday: wish grantin’ fishes

M. J. Magee - Friday, the 8th of July, 2016
'I'm not a fisherman no more,' he grinned. 'Packing it all in, I am. I'm going to retire.'

Cuthbert had never seen anyone with so few teeth look quite so blissful.

'I can live it up large now with the money I'm going to get selling my body.'

'Ermm...'

'Found it in the lake, I did. At first I thought it was one of them wish grantin' fishes, that's secretly princes in disguise. That's the dream, that is. Only reason I got into this stinking business in the first place.'
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Context-free Friday: as huge as a huge beast

M. J. Magee - Friday, the 1st of July, 2016
Cuthbert Tattersall barely managed to stuff down a scream. His hands desperately crammed into his mouth, he stared in horror at the beast in front of him.

It was huge - as huge as… a beast. A huge beast!

And it was ugly, as ugly as it was huge.

And hairy, too. Huger, uglier, and hairier than any nightmare Cuthbert could have envisioned.

In fact, if Cuthbert’s worst nightmare had had a baby with the nightmare of someone far more imaginative, and then covered it in glue inside a wig shop…

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