How to make dog food in two easy steps

'Where am I meant to find 5,000 gold pieces?' Cuthbert asked, exasperated.

Dave sighed. 'You know,' he said, 'some people aren't made to be heroes. And if you put a sword in their hand anyway and tell them where the dragons are who need stabbing, you're only...'

His face turned green.

'Well, you're only making dog chow.'

'So the dragons have the gold...' Cuthbert murmured, already formulating a plan.