'I'll have that spear back, thanks,' she said. 'It's good for reaching hard-to-scratch places. And you wouldn't believe how itchy this armour gets.'
'You're meant to wear something under it,' the guard on the right hissed.
'And have twice the laundry?' the guard on the left snorted. 'More fool you.'
'If you've lost a contact lens, I know a great optician,' Cuthbert called out helpfully. 'He's - well, full disclosure - he's my uncle but only on my father's side by marriage. His name's Ethan Mellender and he's wonderful. He never burns off your eyelashes when he shines the candle in. Well,' he admitted, rubbing at his eye, 'once, but I think that was because I sneezed.'
The trouble with doing refactoring work is, while it might be necessary, it’s the most demotivating possible thing you can do on a project – especially one you’re working on in your spare time.
It’s horrible to see progress stall – or go backwards in the case of a huge language rewrite – and it’s hard to keep wanting to pour your time and energy into such a big black hole.…
Continue reading'So, fairy guide,' Cuthbert said brightly, clapping his hands together, 'any ideas where I can get a sword?'
The fairy looked at him. His lips were a thin blue line. 'There's a difference,' he said dryly, 'between being a fairy guide and being a fairy does-all-the-work-for-no-pay-and-no-glory-for-an-absolute-doofus-who'd-wear-butter-if-you-told-him-it-was-a-hat.'
He took a swig from his bottle. 'Since I'm to be working with the Cuthbert Tattersall,' he continued in a voice that didn't carry the same impressive tone those words usually did when Cuthbert said them, 'proven hero of consequence, genius, all round awesome guy, I'd assume it's the former. I'd assume you've already thought of shop.'
Cuthbert looked around furtively. 'Yes,' he said.
'They call me "Prayer",' Cuthbert said, raising his head to look at the queen. 'Because I answer them.'
He paused. Was that right?
'Because I answer to that. I answer those for them...' He shook his head. 'I'm Cuthbert. Tattersall.'