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M. J. Magee

Don’t call me Ishmael. It would be wildy inaccurate. I’m a web developer writing my first online-point-and-click-game-cum-choose-your-own-adventure-book. Um, probably the first online-point-and-click-game-cum-choose-your-own-adventure-book. When not writing profiles about myself, I read, build websites, watch Netflix, and sleep. Lots.

Context-free Friday: Ethan Mellendar, Stalwart Optician

M. J. Magee - Friday, the 21st of October, 2016
'If you've lost a contact lens, I know a great optician,' Cuthbert called out helpfully. 'He's - well, full disclosure - he's my uncle but only on my father's side by marriage. His name's Ethan Mellender and he's wonderful. He never burns off your eyelashes when he shines the candle in. Well,' he admitted, rubbing at his eye, 'once, but I think that was because I sneezed.'
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No one puts baby in the corner – if they want to get anything done

M. J. Magee - Saturday, the 15th of October, 2016

The trouble with doing refactoring work is, while it might be necessary, it’s the most demotivating possible thing you can do on a project – especially one you’re working on in your spare time.

It’s horrible to see progress stall – or go backwards in the case of a huge language rewrite – and it’s hard to keep wanting to pour your time and energy into such a big black hole.…

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Context-free Friday: it’s fairy guide not fairy does-all-the-work-for-no-pay-and-no-glory…

M. J. Magee - Friday, the 14th of October, 2016
'So, fairy guide,' Cuthbert said brightly, clapping his hands together, 'any ideas where I can get a sword?'

The fairy looked at him. His lips were a thin blue line. 'There's a difference,' he said dryly, 'between being a fairy guide and being a fairy does-all-the-work-for-no-pay-and-no-glory-for-an-absolute-doofus-who'd-wear-butter-if-you-told-him-it-was-a-hat.'

He took a swig from his bottle. 'Since I'm to be working with the Cuthbert Tattersall,' he continued in a voice that didn't carry the same impressive tone those words usually did when Cuthbert said them, 'proven hero of consequence, genius, all round awesome guy, I'd assume it's the former. I'd assume you've already thought of shop.'

Cuthbert looked around furtively. 'Yes,' he said.
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Context-free Friday: where we’re going, we need a paying audience

M. J. Magee - Friday, the 30th of September, 2016
'Let's get this show on the road!' Cuthbert cried encouragingly, clapping his hands. No one cheered. He slowed to a gentle pat. He stopped.

The lead singer looked at him curiously. 'I thought you said we had to do this show on the bridge,' he said uncertainly. 'Yo, is the road going to be better for passing trade?'

'I know a lot of people who walk on roads,' the lute player said, nodding.
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Context-free Friday: never flirt during job interviews…

M. J. Magee - Friday, the 23rd of September, 2016
‘That’s right,’ Cuthbert oozed in his most seductive voice, as he remembered a line from a book about flirting during job interviews. ‘I’m here direct from your dreams.’

The judge in green shot up in her chair, staring at him, aghast. The judge in blue’s monocle fell into his drink with a loud plop. The judge in burgundy’s face slowly turned a rather clashing puce.

Cuthbert wondered idly if the tip had been to not flirt during a job interview. ‘Erm...’ he salvaged things, cleverly.
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Context-free Friday: Doctor Hoaxter – a name you can trust

M. J. Magee - Friday, the 9th of September, 2016
Cuthbert stroked his baby-soft, baby-sized chin thoughtfully, wondering how many more applications of Doctor Hoaxter's Miracle-Grow cream he was going to have to rub in before his full and manly beard came in. Maybe leaving it, and all his other toiletries, at home had been a mistake. He could swear he'd been starting to get a five o'clock shadow. An elevensies at least.
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